It is often confusing to make a first impression in front of someone. Whether that be your boss,classmates or just that-totally-hot-person that one of your friend knows and introduces you too. But often we reveal some deep and possibly embarrassing secrets hidden deep within ourselves that we display written on our face…well on our body,to be more precise.
I know you already love looking at people’s bodies… don’t bite your lip , don’t cross your arms… I am writing this article , I know when you lie , so , now you have a reason to watch them….FOR SCIENCE!
As you read, you’ll find that you do some of these things — both positive and negative — naturally. Changing your body language can be as simple as being aware of it, and the more you practice using powerful, confident body language, the easier it will become.
HOW TO BE UNSTOPPABLE!
It all starts with the tiny tricks and trinkets. Your mind will reflect what your body projects. A good straight posture implies that you are confident. You will actually feel happier when you sit up straight. If you slouch , however , you will feel the opposite. And that is how people perceive you.
Taking on a powerful pose doesn’t just make you more confident, it actually changes your hormone levels and increases your propensity to take risks. Powerful poses usually consist of making the body bigger and taking up more space, so putting your hands on your hips, standing up taller or putting on a pair of high heels and planting your feet can literally change how you feel!
Also , DON’T CROSS YOUR ARMS!
It makes people think you are less credible. Not only that, people whose arms are crossed are telling others that they’re closed off and not open to new ideas or opinions. It can also betray that you’re uncomfortable with your size or weight: we unconsciously try to cover the things we think aren’t “good enough”.
Crossed legs tell the same story, whether sitting or standing. People will often stand with one leg crossed in front of the other when they are in a group of people they don’t know well…This is slightly different when it comes to women. I’m not saying you should go spread your legs..More on that in the next part!
Another thing to avoid is the ‘self-hug’ position. Where one arm is straight at your side, and the other crosses your body to hold the opposite elbow. You are literally hugging yourself for support! This shows how sad and scared/nervous you are!
Don’t be afraid to lightly touch people, even if you don’t know them very well. Politicians will often touch the elbow of the person whose hand they’re shaking: it demonstrates charisma and confidence. Waitresses get better tips when they lightly touch their customers when they talk to them. (This might feel really awkward when you first start, but you will get more comfortable the more you do it!) People who casually and lightly touch others are liked more, on average!
HOW TO SHERLOCK!
In the world of body language, it is often said that the legs reveal what the mind wants to do. This doesn’t mean your legs will point at the person you wanna bone , to clear things out.
A person who is sitting with legs crossed, kicking their feet, is bored. If they’re sitting with their legs apart, they’re open and relaxed. The basic things.
When you’re having a conversation with someone who finds you interesting, they will put one foot forward to shorten the distance between you. If, on the other hand, they are bored witless, they will move their feet back, usually under a chair if sitting down.
If the person talking to you has their thumbs in their belt-loops, they are attracted to you, and want you to notice their man- or womanhood!..Basically how a cowboy looks at you every time (I just knew there was something on their mind) Look at where their thumbs are pointing! You can’t get much clearer than that!
If someone tilts their head, it shows that they’re interested. If they bring their hand to their chin or cheek, they are thinking and evaluating, but if they do this and put one finger up along the side of their face, they are being critical and judgmental, and are not happy with what is being said! It’s almost like making a silent objection.
Also , if someone has their middle finger up and they look pissed. They are probably pissed about something you said. Run.
Women often tilt their heads and show their necks to men who they find attractive.They will also speak in a higher tone with those they find attractive…They same way they talk with babies and cats.
Someone who touches or rubs their nose is showing that they have doubts or are not being entirely truthful. If they rub their eye, they don’t believe what you’re saying. Of course, take both of these with a grain of salt during allergy season!
If they bite their nails, they are insecure and nervous. Pulling or tugging on the ear shows indecisiveness. Fussing with the hair shows a lack of self-confidence and insecurity.
Closed body language means the mind is closed off, too. Closed body language is shown by crossed arms, legs or feet. If you really want to get a good read on someone, sit with them and offer a glass of water, coffee, tea or pretty much anything else. Then watch where they put their glass after taking a sip. If they use one arm to cross in front of them and put the glass on the table on the opposite side of their body, then they are hesitant, anxious or feeling negative. But if they drink using one hand and place the cup down on that same side, they are feeling open and secure.
Someone who rubs their hands together is showing that they expect a positive outcome, and are excited about what will come next. Having said that, the speed at which they rub their hands shows who they expect will come out on top! A slow hand rub denotes that they think they are going to be better off.
Clasping your hands behind your back shows that you don’t want to let someone know how you feel — and you’re usually angry, frustrated or worried.
When someone disagrees with what is being said, they will often pick lint from their clothing! This person has a secret opinion that they don’t want to share.
People who straddle chairs by sitting on them back-to-front want to dominate or be in control, but are secretly insecure.
It’s easy to spot a liar, because they usually do all four of these things in succession: touch their hands together, touch their face, cross their arms, and lean away from you.
Now , you are free to use this everyday , but do so with caution. The excuse “It’s for class” probably won’t do good against the jury in court.
HOW TO GET ANYONE TO LIKE YOU!
One of the fastest ways to build rapport with someone is to mirror their actions. Mirroring is exactly what it sounds like: you copy someone else’s facial expressions or body movements. As awkward as this sounds, we do this unconsciously, and we will often mirror the behaviour of someone we respect, look up to, or consider to have higher status than us. But when we do it, it puts the other person at ease, and makes them feel like you vibe well together.
Show your honesty by telling your story with your hands. People tend to believe those people more who show them their palms. This goes back to the olden days , it used to be a sign signally that you had no weapons with you i.e you come in peace.
If you talk to someone while showing your open palms, it will actually encourage them to be more honest and open with you! This is the secret to knowing all secrets!
Oh and btw , pointing is a big no no!
It is perceived and normally associated with negative comments. Although you may not be making one , when you point fingers , you lash out on them , knowingly or unknowlingly .
Hence, lot of professional speakers have been taught to show emphasis with their hands by touching their thumb and forefinger together to make an ‘OK’ symbol. This gesture is seen by others as being authoritative but not forceful, and in fact, makes an audience think you are thoughtful, focused and goal-oriented.
Lets see, what else ..oh yeah
This is fascinating and unusual: if you stand on the left side of a photograph, viewers will think you are more dominant than anyone else in the picture!
Guiding other people through a door — going first and holding it for them — shows that you are in control, and will encourage others to view you as a leader.
Oh , and when women lie , they like to look busy , rather than just crossing their arms and doing the other stuff mentioned above. They will multi-task for this!
Getting on the same physical level as the person you’re speaking to is very powerful, too. I’ve discovered that crouching down and literally being on the same level as them — as opposed to standing over them and talking down — encourages a much more candid, open conversation.
Be animated when you talk, and smile with your teeth! Use your hands to gesticulate, keep your palms open, and don’t cross your arms, legs or feet. Lean forward and nod when other people are talking, and tilt your head to show that you’re listening. Don’t allow your chin to drop. Mirror the body language of other people. Make eye contact and smile! :)….
AND NEVER TWERK IN YOUR LIFE!
Check out these books for further reading :
What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People
The Definitive Book of Body Language
Winning Body Language: Control the Conversation, Command Attention, and Convey the Right Message without Saying a Word!
Have fun looking at bodies … just not too much.
– Rushaabh Saliya